救人唷...這下歹志大條了... - 魚

By Leila
at 2008-12-17T22:47

Table of Contents

　　話說我剛剛吃飽撐著買了杯珍奶跑去看著魚缸發呆，突然心血來潮，想說好久都沒
加硝化菌了，今天就給他加一些吧。

　　於是乎，我拿了針筒吸了約10CC的塞牌硝化菌，不過一手拿著罐子的我傾斜的太多
了，於是硝化菌便流了一小滴出來沾在我手上。

　　由於我這人個性是有著傳統固有美德，平時喜歡造橋鋪路、行俠仗義、劫富濟貧，
外加溫、良、恭、簡、順，特別是為了響應節能減炭的政策，因此我下意識的將他吸
了一口也是很合邏輯的...

　　那種味道...鹹的...噢不...是酸...是鹹中帶酸還有著一點青澀，就像初戀一般讓人
感動，我感覺到硝化菌在我的味蕾上跳舞著，這種感覺...就像是基哥吃了撒尿牛丸後要
不自覺舞動一般；又像是味公主薛家燕吃了黯然銷魂飯之後在叉燒上打滾般；或者又像是
吃了陽泉酒家的小當家做的宇宙大燒賣一般，不只我背後出現一堆旗袍美女在跳舞，而
且旗袍還全都開衩到腋下...

　　突然間，就像有道閃電穿過了太陽穴一般，我頓悟了，原來市面上只賣乳酸菌、益生
菌的飲料，卻獨缺添加硝化菌的食品，這也難怪，味道又鹹又酸又澀，小朋友哪會喜歡喝
嘛...

　　這時我突然想到我似乎不該在這裡練瘋話...我開始認真的思考硝化菌是否會對人體
有害，我翻了翻包裝上頭並無註解。

　　於是我很認真的思考，終於歸納出以下兩點：

A.硝化菌對人體是有害的，所以我現在最好是去買灌巴拉松喝了，在這群硝化菌還沒釀禍
前先毒死他們。

B.硝化菌對人體是有益的，所以按照比例，我的體重68公斤，依國中生物課本人體有70%
是水，所以我體內共計47.6公升的水。再依照說明書，每70公升添加10cc，所以換句話說
我每天得服用6.8cc的硝化菌...

　　看來這是個痛苦的抉擇...還是說我應該果決去掛個急診呢?!

　　最後...我這樣不小心喝了點硝化菌，會有損我這個水版最正值男人的形象嗎?

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Tags: 魚

All Comments

By Lauren
at 2008-12-18T12:28

勤換水就好了

By Tristan Cohan
at 2008-12-18T19:56

這是笨版文吧 XDDDDDDDDD

By Poppy
at 2008-12-23T11:59

樓上的意思是說我多喝些水嗎ꌿ

By Susan
at 2008-12-24T15:14

原PO 安心上路~~

By Megan
at 2008-12-28T20:10

你現在還有辦法在這裡東扯西扯... = =

By Edwina
at 2008-12-29T10:01

可以跟凱特貓喇一下(誤?) 可以中和毒素!!!!

By Ethan
at 2008-12-30T12:03

我可以改標題改成"掛號"嗎??

By Queena
at 2009-01-01T17:29

我昨天喝水喝到吐晚飯都吐出來了我不愛吃菜
勤換水就是多喝多尿就排掉了

By Rebecca
at 2009-01-02T02:34

喝硝化菌會讓人出現輕微發瘋現象 (筆記)

By Rae
at 2009-01-06T14:48

我以為勤換水幫助培菌...

By Vanessa
at 2009-01-09T23:12

看成多喝尿也是閒閒的

By Frederic
at 2009-01-13T02:25

只能說你太勇猛

By Carolina Franco
at 2009-01-16T00:51

消化菌：這不是我的菜~我只吃大便...胃酸：你是我的菜...

By Ingrid
at 2009-01-17T22:17

一天一罐增強抵抗力

By Mason
at 2009-01-21T22:05

多喝尿好啊~剛好硝化菌可以分解多餘的氨~~

By Wallis
at 2009-01-24T19:40

請凱特貓就近照顧你就沒事了

By Jack
at 2009-01-25T09:40

大力水手吃菠菜，原來藍波是吃硝化菌才這麼變態.不.是正直

By Skylar Davis
at 2009-01-26T06:59

A 硝化菌 a day,keep doctor away??

By Leila
at 2009-01-29T23:55

此文章值 1 銀快去寫小說阿XD""

By Quintina
at 2009-01-31T14:16

...我好想把這篇轉笨板耶...XDDDDDDDDDD<-沒良心

By Vanessa
at 2009-02-05T12:51

轉過去我會去彭場的XD"

By Leila
at 2009-02-08T08:11

轉過去也是一堆人看不懂XD

By Christine
at 2009-02-11T08:30

路人甲：硝化菌是什麼?新的乳酸飲料嗎~?

By Harry
at 2009-02-14T23:52

噢是正妹sa耶~~

By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2009-02-18T20:30

路人乙：聽起來不錯喝耶~哪裡買阿?

By Steve
at 2009-02-22T13:09

各大賣場超商均有售

By Kelly
at 2009-02-24T12:50

沒錯,是正妹Sa~~

By Olivia
at 2009-02-26T06:32

樓上根源po好糟糕....關鍵字呢!?
跟原

By Michael
at 2009-02-26T07:35

我比較在乎圖...=..=

By Mary
at 2009-02-26T20:07

聽說sagittarius0 是正妹耶快點來跟我買東西嘛>///<

By Quintina
at 2009-03-03T06:31

喝了就好~魚都沒事~人應該也還好

By Madame
at 2009-03-04T23:23

沒錯,就是樓上這個大色魔.......

By Quanna
at 2009-03-05T04:50

喝尿的圖?

By Isabella
at 2009-03-06T22:34

什麼?

By Dinah
at 2009-03-07T04:56

@口@! 羞...可是差喵一點啦!XD

By Ophelia
at 2009-03-10T07:27

就你是大色魔阿不是我說的XDDDD

By Charlie
at 2009-03-10T10:48

最好啦我是個男人怎麼可以跟正妹SA比呢 >////<

By Kristin
at 2009-03-13T15:53

.........推文也中鎗

By Mia
at 2009-03-15T09:08

kate喵是大色魔啦....有正妹他就衝~~

By Candice
at 2009-03-18T19:30

沒錯凱特是一個正到讓男人都會有遐想的男人>////<
OK阿羞~~

By Dinah
at 2009-03-21T13:25

嘿嘿嘿不衝哪對得起我自己呢
好哇>/////<
那你要當我的第幾個老婆呢? >////<

By Callum
at 2009-03-23T21:10

喵..那我們在一起吧>/////////////<..(大誤)

By Audriana
at 2009-03-24T23:57

樓上怎麼全是空白文

By Kelly
at 2009-03-27T20:06

挖~~~樓上自肥~~~

By Ivy
at 2009-03-29T11:31

sa是正妹!! 我要圖~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (伸手)

By Thomas
at 2009-04-02T18:49

人家喜歡獨佔啦.T口T.那還是當好兄弟好姐妹好了ˊˋ

By Margaret
at 2009-04-04T23:18

不要這麼小氣來跟姐姐們問好~

By Kama
at 2009-04-05T13:37

其實我才是姐姐才對.........................(沉默)

By Selena
at 2009-04-08T19:39

推文整個.....囧

By Margaret
at 2009-04-13T07:57

正姐 (點頭)

By Puput
at 2009-04-13T10:32

我不要當好兄弟啦....輪嘉還活著捏....

By Xanthe
at 2009-04-17T13:50

好吧那sagittarius0當大老婆 katemao就二姨太...

By Hazel
at 2009-04-22T05:06

真正的好兄弟目前還在水桶裡曝氣中...要過尾七才回的來~

By Thomas
at 2009-04-24T03:21

智障..............

By Puput
at 2009-04-26T20:14

說的也是...他回來還是會被踢進水桶裡XD"""

By Robert
at 2009-05-01T18:30

到時候就要做百日百日做完要過對年...

By Callum
at 2009-05-02T01:17

sa我要圖啦~~~~ (伸手)

By Emily
at 2009-05-04T12:34

吼不要跟我搶妾!!

By Margaret
at 2009-05-07T19:21

這樣是我害了sa正妹露餡嗎??

By Doris
at 2009-05-11T13:03

硝化菌: 幹您媽的! 快吃我! 幫助消化唷

By Kama
at 2009-05-14T06:32

你以為是表飛鳴唷== =|||

By Elvira
at 2009-05-15T19:00

其實那味道會比較像喇叭牌正露丸~~

By Carolina Franco
at 2009-05-20T07:14

老天有眼鄭公有後了

By Emily
at 2009-05-22T01:19

哈哈哈~~~其實會一直繁殖~然後你腸胃會很多生物膜~最後塞住了

By Sarah
at 2009-05-26T00:49

鄭公................

By Mary
at 2009-05-27T09:58

然後~得整副換新的

By Ivy
at 2009-05-29T20:54

硝化菌跟那個有啥關係嗎== =????

By Zora
at 2009-06-03T05:00

就跟你的腦袋已經換過N個一樣嗎XDDDDD

By Mary
at 2009-06-04T13:40

嗯~我是比克大魔王

By Lily
at 2009-06-04T17:01

應該是比克D陶王

By Rachel
at 2009-06-04T21:19

XDDD

By Victoria
at 2009-06-09T09:38

錯應該是低逃比克王吧

By William
at 2009-06-13T17:22

...那到底是頭裝低桃還是身體是低桃~頭裝比克?

By Elma
at 2009-06-14T23:08

生物摩到底是為什麼生成的??

By Hedwig
at 2009-06-18T12:33

為了保護菌群所演化的機制

By Ina
at 2009-06-23T05:57

安啦～不會怎樣的啦只要你沒有免疫功能的問題頂多拉一拉

By Genevieve
at 2009-06-23T17:54

鄭公....已經忘記由來了XDD 只記得以前很紅而已哈～

By Kama
at 2009-06-25T21:35

G公食子天下歸心阿~~~

By Ula
at 2009-06-26T19:03

XD 我笑了哈哈

By Lily
at 2009-06-26T23:36

◎
∥
╱￣￣￣╲ 再見~~~再見~~~~~~
/ ╱￣￣╲▏∕ ╴╴╴╴╴╴
｜╱─◎︵◎▏ ◣ ﹨
\\ ▏ █◣ ﹨
z──\\ ρ ╱┐ ██◣ ﹨
x ╱ ￣￣﹨│ ███████▋
x ∕ ╲ ∕ ╲ ███████▊
x ∕ ╲ ╴╴╲╴ ███████▊
x ︳ ╲ ╱\\\\ \\\\ ◢████▌

By Anonymous
at 2009-06-30T04:16

所以到底會不會出問題啊

By Catherine
at 2009-07-04T00:01

回樓上~不會啦~~~因為到胃酸就被酸死了..
殘留在食道上的也會因為食道黏膜無法繁殖~

By Wallis
at 2009-07-05T06:07

看那些菌是G(+)還是G(-)....再看他的免疫力囉...

By Poppy
at 2009-07-08T22:51

躺著也中槍... T_________T

By Poppy
at 2009-07-09T03:17

樓上是鼠神 XD

By Mary
at 2009-07-13T11:03

我是替鼠神覺得可憐他躺著也中槍~~ XD

By William
at 2009-07-14T02:57

XD"""

By Annie
at 2009-07-16T04:45

XDDD

By Barb Cronin
at 2009-07-17T22:52

http://tinyurl.com/4fymnv

By Catherine
at 2009-07-20T12:36

NCK:躺著也中槍... T_________Thttp://tinyurl.com/4fymnv

By Oscar
at 2009-07-21T17:04

哈哈~好笑

By Blanche
at 2009-07-24T10:45

快吞陶瓷環增加培菌空間

By Victoria
at 2009-07-28T05:34

看到這裡我不經想起好幾年前有吞過光合菌很臭很噁心

救人唷...這下歹志大條了... - 魚

All Comments

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